Personality
Jan. 7th, 2018 09:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
albionchangedEsme is a quiet, meek, and mostly well-mannered young man who enjoys the companionship of friends and family, and does his best not to aggravate others. His meekness is most noticeable when he's dealing with new people or with situations in which he doesn't know how to proceed, where he often looks to familiar faces for guidance. This usually results in him being more of a follower in any group that he's fallen in with, though he does make a good confidant. He's modest, honest, and he just wants to be accepted as a good person. This is the Esme that most people know.
The root of the above traits is both a good upbringing and a genuinely good nature...but is also largely from a madness that stems from his time in Arcadia. All changelings are mad in some way, having at least one thing about them that's somewhat twisted. Esme's happens to come from a persistent fear of abandonment, and that if he screws up or isn't useful enough he'll be cast aside and abandoned. He knows that if his friends are truly his friends they wouldn't do that, but it does very little to ease the insecurity. Part of that also comes from the fact that changelings are slow to trust as well. As a way to offset this, he defines himself by being a good source of support for others and a loyal friend. He easily puts his needs aside for the greater good, until he just can't anymore, even when it's potentially dangerous for him to do so.
Esme really dislikes conflict, and would rather it never be a necessary step to take. Instead, his nature is generally to assist those who can and lend his power rather than risk getting in the way or being needlessly hurt. But he will literally throw himself at a problem when pushed, especially if he feels that a friend is in immediate danger. He doesn't consider this bravery, however, simply desperation in the moment.
Despite the constant trouble that he finds himself in, Esme prefers a simple and quiet life. He's content just doing chores or learning about the world he's found himself in without getting bored. He likes things to be as straightforward as possible. He also tries to extend the same courtesy to others, but his honesty doesn't mean that he's without secrets. As a changeling, his life is very secret to most without him outright lying about things.
While he's not the sharpest with planning or academic knowledge, Esme is fairly good at thinking and reacting to things on the fly. He often has good instincts and usually plays to his strengths, avoid risk where possible. He's usually prudent and has a good sense of when he's in a potentially dangerous situation, but can unfortunately be offset by the fact that he usually struggles to keep his composure in these situations at times. Being a changeling of a more bestial nature, Esme is sometimes prone to acting without thought and, like all Beast changelings, this can seriously damage his grip on reality if such actions somehow harm people he cares about.
When it comes to romance, Esme struggles a lot with the idea. He had a notion that one day he would find a nice woman and settle down to start a family, as all good men do. But he never really had the confidence to even speak to a girl before he was taken, and especially wouldn't dare to approach a man with his affections. Now truly out of his element after his Durance, he can't even fathom who he would be with or approach. He tends to develop crushes on anyone that he's close to and spares him a little bit of kindness, regardless of gender, but his paranoia about abandonment generally keeps him from expressing more than friendly affection. He's very open with affection such as hugs or cuddling with anyone that he's comfortable enough with and who will reciprocate.
As a changeling, Esme's mindset has altered no longer operates on the standard scale of morality. Morality can fit into it and being too immoral can skew his perception of the world dangerously, called Clarity, but what is moral or not is a bit...odd. For example, a serious potential hit to his Clarity is could be finding out that someone lied to him about something important, but on that exact same level is accidentally killing a human, or just killing another changeling in general. He wants to be good, but good in some cases is changed by something as simple as whether or not the being they have to kill is a person, a monster, or a thing.
The best way to summarize Esme as a person is to call him a well-meaning, anxious person who would do almost anything to ensure the well-being of those he cares for. His biggest fear is to be left alone and unwanted, with being dragged back into Arcadia being a close second. He's useful to have around, if his baggage can be tolerated, but he can't really be "fixed" when it comes to the way he is.
The root of the above traits is both a good upbringing and a genuinely good nature...but is also largely from a madness that stems from his time in Arcadia. All changelings are mad in some way, having at least one thing about them that's somewhat twisted. Esme's happens to come from a persistent fear of abandonment, and that if he screws up or isn't useful enough he'll be cast aside and abandoned. He knows that if his friends are truly his friends they wouldn't do that, but it does very little to ease the insecurity. Part of that also comes from the fact that changelings are slow to trust as well. As a way to offset this, he defines himself by being a good source of support for others and a loyal friend. He easily puts his needs aside for the greater good, until he just can't anymore, even when it's potentially dangerous for him to do so.
Esme really dislikes conflict, and would rather it never be a necessary step to take. Instead, his nature is generally to assist those who can and lend his power rather than risk getting in the way or being needlessly hurt. But he will literally throw himself at a problem when pushed, especially if he feels that a friend is in immediate danger. He doesn't consider this bravery, however, simply desperation in the moment.
Despite the constant trouble that he finds himself in, Esme prefers a simple and quiet life. He's content just doing chores or learning about the world he's found himself in without getting bored. He likes things to be as straightforward as possible. He also tries to extend the same courtesy to others, but his honesty doesn't mean that he's without secrets. As a changeling, his life is very secret to most without him outright lying about things.
While he's not the sharpest with planning or academic knowledge, Esme is fairly good at thinking and reacting to things on the fly. He often has good instincts and usually plays to his strengths, avoid risk where possible. He's usually prudent and has a good sense of when he's in a potentially dangerous situation, but can unfortunately be offset by the fact that he usually struggles to keep his composure in these situations at times. Being a changeling of a more bestial nature, Esme is sometimes prone to acting without thought and, like all Beast changelings, this can seriously damage his grip on reality if such actions somehow harm people he cares about.
When it comes to romance, Esme struggles a lot with the idea. He had a notion that one day he would find a nice woman and settle down to start a family, as all good men do. But he never really had the confidence to even speak to a girl before he was taken, and especially wouldn't dare to approach a man with his affections. Now truly out of his element after his Durance, he can't even fathom who he would be with or approach. He tends to develop crushes on anyone that he's close to and spares him a little bit of kindness, regardless of gender, but his paranoia about abandonment generally keeps him from expressing more than friendly affection. He's very open with affection such as hugs or cuddling with anyone that he's comfortable enough with and who will reciprocate.
As a changeling, Esme's mindset has altered no longer operates on the standard scale of morality. Morality can fit into it and being too immoral can skew his perception of the world dangerously, called Clarity, but what is moral or not is a bit...odd. For example, a serious potential hit to his Clarity is could be finding out that someone lied to him about something important, but on that exact same level is accidentally killing a human, or just killing another changeling in general. He wants to be good, but good in some cases is changed by something as simple as whether or not the being they have to kill is a person, a monster, or a thing.
The best way to summarize Esme as a person is to call him a well-meaning, anxious person who would do almost anything to ensure the well-being of those he cares for. His biggest fear is to be left alone and unwanted, with being dragged back into Arcadia being a close second. He's useful to have around, if his baggage can be tolerated, but he can't really be "fixed" when it comes to the way he is.
